#Reverb13: The Clock is Dead


I never asked for much.

I never asked for money we didn’t have.

I never asked for a nicer house.

I never asked You to make my parents love each other when they couldn’t. 

Oh God believe me when I say I don’t need much, please believe me when I tell You that I never expected anything.

I waited my turn, and I waited oh so patiently.

Giving up my spot in line to those just a little bit more sad than me. 

I never strayed away, never got mad, I knew that when my turn came I’d be thankful for all that You’d do for me. 

Now I’ve been waiting in this line for nineteen years and my feet are tired.

I’ve lost in this line more than I’ve won.

Oh Lord is it ever going to be my turn?

I wasn’t asking then but I’m asking now.

Should I put my blind faith in the idea that You’re doing your best?

That you can’t get to me til’ you’ve helped all the rest?

I want to believe that’s true, 

but after all this time it’s near impossible to do.

So for now I’m throwing in the towel, I hate to say that my faith isn’t enough these days.

Someone somewhere needs You more than I do, and I know your head is in the right place.

I’m sorry that my beliefs are shaken, but what more can I do when I’ve waited and waited with not even a sign.

I’m not ready to grieve with You over what my life has become, because this war I’m fighting I’ve come out undone. 

 

 

 

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3 comments

  1. This is so beautiful, Mesa. After all you’ve lost, you have every right to question.
    The journey towards the answers will be gruelling but I hope you find what you need. x

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