Shattered Glass In My Hair

Currently listening to: Sing Sing by Marianas Trench


It’s uncomfortably hot in my room right now, and the fact that I’m boiling with rage isn’t exactly helping the situation. 

I’m wondering what the word “friend” means every where else around the world, because here friend apparently doesn’t mean much. 

See I always thought a friend was someone who was reliable, someone you could trust with your secrets, your emotions, your passion. A friend is supposed to be someone who is honest with you, even if they’re telling you something you don’t want to hear. A friend is someone who makes mistakes, but they feel genuinely guilty for hurting you and they fix it. A friend is someone who you can yell at when you’re upset, but they understand because life hasn’t exactly been the kindest to you, obviously you apologize but they won’t hold it against you. 

Maybe my definition of friend is too good, because I’m willing to do that for any of my friends, even some people I don’t currently like right now I’d do that for. I would do that because I know that sometimes things are hard, and sometimes I mess up so I try and make it better when I can.

Sure I’m a naturally sarcastic person, I make morbid jokes as a way of coping, I make fun of my friends (but I’m pretty sure they know that I never mean what I say), and sometimes I tell my friends I hate them. But if any of my friends came to me and truly needed me I would drop everything for them, even if they needed me to sit next to them and listen to their problems, not matter how insignificant. 

The word friend mean little to me right now. I’m not saying my friends are horrible people. I’m just saying that sometimes I wonder what peoples friends think, if they think that they’re the only person in this world matters. If that’s the case I feel sorry for those people, because this world is bigger than you and me, and it’s certainly bigger than self-centered people. 

One comment

  1. Well, there’s a big difference between people who are acquaintances, temporary traveling companions, and life long friends. There are acquaintances that we meet and it will never go beyond the superficial “hi how are you?” kind of thing. Then there are traveling companions who are people who will travel a ways with you on life’s journey, but they aren’t meant to be forever friends. Then there are honest-to-goodness friends. A person is very fortunate to have one person they can truly call a friend in their life. Someone, as you described, who they know will always be there for them no matter what. Those are the ones you totally open your heart, mind and soul to and they to you. If you find someone like that, treat them as the most precious jewel you’ll ever own because that’s exactly what they are to you. And you yourself sound like a precious jewel that finds it hard to understand why you aren’t being recognized as such.

    Keep in mind that we all grow at different rates. There are also givers and takers. You don’t ever want to change yourself for someone because that never works, so the thing to do is to keep your heart open and hope that an acquaintance sees the jewel within and so becomes a life long friend.

    I wish you much happiness.

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