All I Have Is Myself


I can say with a clear head that what I posted yesterday was a little overboard.

While I should cut back on the amount of drinking and smoking I do, I would like to clarify that I do not have an issue. It’s just been a little more than usual and after last night I’ve decided I need a break.

Last night I was just sad, I didn’t feel good about what I was doing. In all honesty I was just really tired. 

I don’t need it, it’s not something essential to my everyday living. 

It’s just a thing.

A thing that people continue to chastise me about. As if I’m using drugs as my problem solver. Though that’s how it may looks some times I’ll have you know that it’s no were near the truth. 

Yesterday I took my words and I ran free, I said things out of anger and pain. Unfortunate, because everything I see, everything I hear is beautiful. I don’t enjoy being sad, therefore I don’t exemplify the feeling. 

I finally broke down.

Not enough that my whole world collapsed, but so much that everything in my world is disorganized and cluttered. It’s going to take a few days to clean this mess up.

I’m going to take a few days, maybe even a week to do a life cleansing, to take some time to write, and just relax and get back to my center.

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2 comments

  1. Hello beautiful,
    I am doing the rounds this morning, visiting old friends and making new ones, inviting dear kindreds to join us for August Moon. http://www.katmcnally.com/p/august-moon-13.html
    I know you are juggling so many things right now, but it would be so special if you joined us. Actually, it wouldn’t be the same without you. (So, er, no pressure!!)
    Kat xx

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