Life is probably the most intense idea, concept, and reality ever.
Tomorrow I should be moving into Northern Michigan’s living facilities, I should be getting ready to make that next life step: college.
At the last minute, the night before I should have been at Northern for band camp I had an awful panic attack. There was no way I could do this, I couldn’t stop telling myself I wasn’t ready. Fear took over, anxiety, the idea of the unknown honestly terrified me. Why can’t I figure out my life right here at home? That seems weird that I have to leave home to find myself.
I don’t have many consistencies in my life anymore, I don’t have a lot of family around, no job, and now no school. My life sounds like an awful mess, it almost sounds bad enough that choosing not to go to Northern seems stupid. The one thing I’ve always had was that I knew Milwaukee was home, sure I’ve moved a lot, but Milwaukee is always the home base. Why leave?
So I’ve decided to take a semester off of school, find a job, get my license, and do some more writing. People make choices everyday, and just because I am making the decision not to go to school doesn’t mean that I’m a bad person, a slacker, or dumb, I think it just means I’m going to get a little more life experience that I think could be really really helpful.