deranged

Simple Misunderstandings


Understand this and only this.
There is no end to the madness.
Whenever it feels like it may be over
The second you feel like you can breathe
Those are the moments you should fear the most.
No one knows why this is.
And honestly there is no reason to question it.
When you begin to question the things that should remain unknown
You begin to flirt with death.
Situations like that never end well my dear.
I know many things you’ll never care about.
I know many things none of you may never know about.
You notice me when you see me.
But when you notice me it’s only what you can see with those
Shallow eyes.
Never will you see me for what I was intended to be.
Not until I rip this mask from my face, and show you all the demons inside of me.
Even then, when I have everything exposed before you
EVEN THEN
You still just will not see me.
Instead you’ll take a quick peek into yourself and see all the imperfections
The ones you never quite wanted to believe.
I will ruin you, everything you ever loved about yourself
Destroyed.
And what for?
Just so you can hear about my poor lost soul?

Bitter Nights


Sometimes I get really angry about things I shouldn’t be angry about.

Last night was most certainly one of those nights. What I got mad about was justified, I had a very good reason for getting so upset but I felt stupid about getting so mad.

I was mad about something I had no control over.

I was mad about something that didn’t matter to the others involved.

I was mad about something that did not belong to me. 

And that’s just stupid. Today I woke up this morning and decided not to be bitter.

Because if I decide not to be bitter I’m the real winner, I’m not letting those I’m angry with control how I feel. That alone is a success.

Plus negative emotions are literally so tiresome. They don’t do anything but bring you down.

So I will not be bitter, I will not let them hurt me.

Therefore I have won.

Open the Gates to Wonder


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Sometimes I look around and I wonder how everything came to be.

 

I know there’s the bible, and science but I wonder what just makes things happen.

 

I wonder how exactly my fate was tied to my friends:

 

What one thing could have changed the entire course of our relationship?

 

What one thing could have happened that would have resulted in me never knowing a person?

 

I wonder who thought of gravity, why it is that we walk instead of floating.

 

Can evolution ever give us wings?

 

Twenty years from now, how will I perceive the world? How will you see it?

 

How will kids react when they hear that we once lived without technology?

 

Will they laugh at the thought of not having a cell phone?  Will they even know how to laugh or will they say LOL?

 

Do you think maybe the laws will change?

 

Can homosexuals finally marry who they love without problem?

 

Can people buy weed without having to worry about the police?

 

Can people carry their guns without being judged?

 

These are some things that I wonder.

 

Is there any way that silence will be appreciated again?

 

Or will we always live with constant noise? Not wanting to be alone with our dark thoughts in utter silence?

 

What will life be like for teenagers?

 

Will someone walk down the hallways feeling as if the whole world is judging them?

 

Have we become a vocal society and it’s not longer considered bullying but instead it’s just “being honest?”

 

Does everyone still believe they are depressed?

 

Or are they actually depressed?

 

Will people life longer lives, or will the quality of life decrease?

 

These are the things I sometimes wonder.