time

One Thousand


I keep having this dream, it’s a rather peculiar dream.

How about I tell you about it.

I am on my way home from dinner with a very nice boy, he is tall and very beautiful, yet the second I saw him that night I knew it would never be. I knew that I would never love that man, and though I knew such a brutal truth so soon, I decided to chance dinner with this fine man, we talk, and laugh, it is a lovely night.

As we approach my apartment on a very busy street in a very busy city, on a very busy night he turned to me and said this:

My dear Veronika, I know you will never love me, believe me I’ve tried to make you love me many times in this life, I always fail. You like me, and you will always be there for me when I need you, you will never love me. Now this may not make sense, but I am here right now because you need me, not right this moment, but things are changing, and you will become an important person in our future.”

I gawk at this beautiful man, and I don’t understand why, but I feel his sincerity. Deep within my soul I know that he is telling me the truth. 

What is your name?” I ask, the curiosity getting the better of me.

The man smiled a smile that made me feel as though I’d lived one thousand lives with him. 

“Well now, you’ve gone an forgotten my name?” he jumped in front of me on the very busy sidewalk, disregarding the very busy people, bowed before me and said,

The names Beval”

and of course that is the very moment I awake every night I have this dream. Somewhere inside my soul I feel that Beval is real, that he is searching for me and finding me in my dreams instead of on this land. This means I must go and find him, I believe he is real. 

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The Grass is Always Greener


IMG_9299Say hello to the newest member of my family, Charlie! My mom got him as a birthday gift for us last month and he has already helped me get through so much.

My senior year hasn’t been the best so far, but now that we’ve moved (yeah it finally happened!) I think it will be easier for me to get focused and do what I need to do.

Life has been throwing some crazy curve balls at me and while I may not like it (at all) I’ve been managing. I’ve lost people and gained some… friends, and even a new baby sister that was born yesterday. I’ve been learning to focus a little bit more on myself and what’s going to benefit me, it’s been a surprising challenge but I like a challenge every now and then.

I’m turning 18 on Friday. I know I won’t feel any different on Friday but it’s still so crazy to think of all the things I’ve been through, all the people I’ve met, the things I’ve tried, and memories I have. So many things have changed since I came into this world, and so many simple things have stayed the same.

I hope everyone is having an awesome time in this fall weather, come back next week for a fun surprise!

10 Things…


So I just finished my last post literally seconds ago and when I published another page came up and on the side it said something about blog ideas and this was one that caught my attention:

“Exactly half of the year is now over. List 10 things you want to do before 2012 begins?”

And it’s funny that this popped up since my last post was just talking about how it was already August and I felt like time was going by all too fast, and that question just helps prove my point. So since I’m not really doing anything right now I’m going to list 10 things I’d like to accomplish my 2012!

1. Pay for my band trip

2. Get started on writing a book I plan to complete

3. Complete my New years resolution (which was blogging all year this year)

4. Try something new

5. Keep my room clean for more than 2 weeks.

6. Be able to run at least 45 minutes without getting exhausted.

7. Make a clock (which I heard was very easy)

8. Read 6 more books

9. Lose 5 pounds

10. See my dad.

So hopefully I can make all of these things matter, it’s only a matter of time!